All I have is just nothing

All I have is just nothing

Sometimes, I trying so hard to pull back my belongings,
no matter is my education, my friendship or even relationship~

But I noticed one thing,
none of them i can fully focus on,

especially, friendship~
I seem like a stranger in doggie group,
I dunno,
I am just like an outsider,
I even don't know what are u all discussing,
I feel so shame to question them,
Okay! I don't dare~
What's wrong with me?
I feel myself like an annoying bud among all of u,

I scare,
I scare of your hypocrite (double-faces),
my eye was best witness~
I saw everything!
maybe I shouldn't say like this,
maybe tat's the new way of socializing...
Ya, a kind of horrible socialize that i does not want to know~

Did I do something wrong?
Did I?
hopefully I don't

Please kindly tell me if ever I did,
advise can make someone to improve,
backstair  is more insulting than saying it face to face~
girls, please don't do that~ 

I hope I was thinking too much